I’ve been away from my parent’s
love for too long and that has left an empty space in me. I cling to things that
I feel can fill up this space. I’m passionate about my guitar and singing because
it temporarily fills up this void. What you see on the surface is not what goes
on inside. That is true with me, that is true with anyone and everyone. You
look at really accomplished people and when you get past the shining outer
sphere, you see their real stories.
It is a weird feeling. Part of me
wants it and is used to it. This very feeling brings me down at times and the
same feeling is what gives me energy to fight back to reach my highs. I have
developed some level of immunity to this feeling now after going through many
pitfalls. I still remember the first time it was triggered; I never want to
feel like that again. I have now developed certain strengths to fight back.
Some of these are external and some internal.
The biggest internal strength I’ve
developed is learning how to let go and a higher power take control. The
biggest external strength I’ve developed is being passionate about my work. I
use my days of feeling high to develop defenses against the lows so that I can
pull myself out quicker than before.
